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Constant communication that is full and accurate, honest and clear, and goes both ways, is the key to a healthy and enjoyable sexual relationship: from making good eye-contact and smiling encouragingly on your very first meeting, to discussing contraception and protection before you take your clothes off, right through to asking for the sort of sex you want when you are finally lovers and developing your sexual skills.

Talking about sex can be tricky at first, because we've been taught that it's taboo in so many situations; but that's precisely why it will eventually feel so liberating to discuss sex openly with your partner. Perhaps, at first, you could break the ice by writing your thoughts down and reading each other's list out loud to one another.

With intimate physical contact comes the risk of pregnancy and disease, and both can have extremely serious consequences for you, your partner and many other people who care for you.

Whether you're a guy or a girl, you really need to be asking yourself, "why aren't I using a condom every single time I have intercourse."

Consider the risks you run if you don't use a condom:

Each year in the UK alone, well over 150,000 fifteen to nineteen year olds become pregnant, and about one third of these people choose to have an abortion.

Each year in the UK alone, 600,000 people contract a Sexually Transmitted Disease and these can lead to serious complications or infertility. Such things could very easily happen to you and your partner. Three-quarters of a million people thought it couldn't happen to them.

You can have intercourse just once, your first time ever, and that's all it will take. For instance, tiny quantities of semen will always seep out long before ejaculation, so it's not a question of having unprotected intercourse and then putting on the condom at the last moment, or of pulling out before ejaculation. A condom has to be worn every time the penis enters the vagina.

A condom is absolutely necessary no matter that you feel sure that you are in a faithful one to one relationship, and that your partner cannot unknowingly be carrying any sexual disease because they have recently visited an STD clinic and got the all clear. Many STDs have no symptoms at all for many months so no matter how healthy someone looks or feels, you simply won't know that you're carrying one and infecting your partner. And just imagine all the reasons that even your long-term partner might have for not telling you about one particular incident or encounter; and then imagine the risk of infection that could put you in.

Two infectious diseases bear special mention:

AIDS, which stands for Acquired Immunodeficiency Syndrome, is a collection of extremely serious, life-threatening symptoms that are related to the same root cause. The lethal HIV virus that causes AIDS can be passed on by drug-users sharing a needle, or by tiny quantities of semen or blood getting into a tiny cut or sore in your partner's mouth or body. That could be all it takes. AIDS is fatal. There is no cure and there is no immunisation against the virus, so there can be no way around taking the necessary precautions, which means condoms and safe sex practice.

Chlamydia (pronounced clam-id-ear) is the most common sexually transmitted disease among young women between age 15 and 19. It's particularly dangerous because it can make you infertile, but its symptoms in the early stages are very hard to spot. Regular check-ups by your doctor every 6 months is the only way of knowing if you've a clean bill of health.

Once you've made up your mind to always use a condom, you've got to put that good intention in to effective practice. Here's some tips:

i) Buy them and carry them with you: Sexually active men and women of whatever age should always carry condoms because sexual encounters can feel so urgent and immediate, you need to be prepared.

ii) Use them correctly: The main reason a condom can fail is either because of rough treatment, or because it is used with oil-based lubricants (like petroleum jelly or massage oil), rather than water-based ones, and so they can literally fall apart within minutes. Nor do condoms like too much heat or sunlight. Open them carefully, minding your nails don't tear them. Don't stretch them out of shape when preparing to put them on, simply roll them down over your penis; condoms are much more fragile than you might imagine. During sex, regularly check to make sure that the base of the condom is still well over the shaft of the penis, and be sure to hold onto the base of the condom when you withdraw after ejaculation. Own up to the fact that you are much more likely to use condoms correctly every time, if you practice with them well beforehand.

iii) Learn to enjoy using condoms, because they're a lifesaver: You and your partner could experiment using different sizes and thicknesses and type of materials, and you could check out the coloured and flavoured ones. Don't think you have to ejaculate just because you've put on a condom. You can take it off so as to try some other form of non-penetrative sexual activity before returning to intercourse with a brand new one. It will help a lot if you've mentally rehearsed including condoms in your sexual encounters and activities, so use condoms in your sexual fantasies and, with the help of your partner, masturbate wearing one so that using condoms becomes part of the pleasure. The more comfortable you both are using a condom every time, the safer you both will be.

As for pregnancy, if you miss a period, feel tired and occasionally sick, have to pee often and notice that your breasts and belly are beginning to swell, you may very well be pregnant. But there's no need to find out that way, because if there's any possibility at all that you might be pregnant (perhaps because of a split condom the previous night), either you should buy a home pregnancy testing kit from your local pharmaceutical store, or better still visit your doctor with a sample of urine that you've passed first thing in the morning. Don't delay. Best to know one way or the other as soon as possible. Which ever way the result goes, you will need lots of immediate advice and support from mature and trusted people to know how to deal with things.

For instance, if you think you may have become pregnant, there is the 'emergency pill' (also known as the 'morning after pill') that can be prescribed by your doctor but must be taken within 72 hours of your sexual intercourse. This is only an extremely rare emergency measure, whereas the ordinary low-dosage 'contraceptive pill' is used every single day by almost 60% of sexually active young women in the UK. It's only major shortcoming, of course, is that the pill provides no protection at all against STDs. Never the less, if you follow the instructions for use carefully, its 99% effective and safe in terms of preventing unwanted pregnancy. There may be some side-effects for some people, but your doctor can discuss with you the possibility of these so you can be on the look out, and can suggest alternative pills as well that might suit you better.

You may decide to have only one sexual partner, or you may prefer to have several sexual relationships operating almost simultaneously at any particular period in your life. Unless the laws of the society in which you live specifically dictate otherwise, only you can decide what you need and what you feel comfortable with, and you are only acting wrongly if you do not let your various partners know beforehand about your attitudes and your behaviour. It is only fair to let them know so that they can weigh up the emotional implications and their greatly increased risk of sexual infection.

The bottom line is - always use a condom, and consider going on the pill as well. Seek out professional help on any worries or problems you have as soon as possible. Better safe than sorry! Just make the call and make an appointment.

Your sex life doesn't always have to involve another person. Masturbating to orgasm is not shameful, it's just personal and private. Most men and women do it frequently, in fact somewhere between daily and monthly. Unless you are masturbating at inappropriate times or places, or so often that it interferes in some way with other aspects of your life, masturbation is a completely harmless activity. Nor is it the least bit shameful or wrong to want some form of oral sex, anal sex, sex in candlelight, sex to music, or indeed a whole range of other desires. Most of these urges are universal and natural. If you are worried by anything that you want to do, call your local hospital and make an appointment with a sex counsellor at a clinic to discuss your worries. That's what they're there for five days a week, and they're on your side. Besides which, regular physical check-ups by your doctor every 6 months is a very good habit to get into once you begin sexual relationships of any sort, however occasional your sexual activity might be.

If considering pornography, ask yourself whether the pictures you're taking pleasure from might have come about by someone degrading or violently abusing those individuals you're looking at. By paying for or using those glossy pictures, you might be indirectly supporting that abuse. Consider whether your money and time would be better spent making a phonecall to someone you'd like to ask out for a date, or catching a bus to somewhere you might meet someone with whom to have a real two-way relationship. Resorting to pornography will take you not one step closer to a real love affair.

When you do meet someone you like, it's best to be cautious and considerate. Your compliments and interest may not be wanted by that individual, and you are taking a great risk if you overstep the mark by making suggestive jokes or personal physical comments. He or she could feel embarrassed or humiliated or even scared by you, though they might not want to show it at the time. Such behaviour on your part is particularly awkward and inappropriate in any work situation, and flirting at work should be avoided altogether. Turn your energies to meeting someone in a social setting who might welcome your well-meant intentions; but if someone tells you to "cut it out", then don't wait to be told twice.

Mixing sex with too much alcohol or any other drug, is dangerous because it can lead to serious misjudgements about what you do and with whom. You wouldn't drive if you'd been drinking, so why would you have sex if you've had several glasses? Being drunk might remove the shyness, but it will also lessen the pleasure and will probably mean you'll wake up the following morning feeling horrible and very possibly regretting your actions the night before.

Sexual relations of any sort are only legal if the other person has agreed to it when they are sober enough, sensible enough, and old enough to do so. Taking advantage of someone because you're older, richer or more powerful than they are, or talking someone into sex that they don't want, will at the very least bring profound shame upon you, and may well land you in jail. Don't allow yourself to get into a situation, perhaps fuelled by drink or drugs, in which you might let yourself down, or could even be accused of doing so. Imagine for just 30 seconds how the other person will feel and how you will both look back on the event.

The law and society are very clear and very strict on the above issue, and they accept no excuses: if your partner hasn't freely and clearly agreed to the sexual activity, if they didn't feel able to say no, or if that person isn't old enough in the eyes of the law (age limits vary a lot from State to State, country to country), or if your partner isn't well enough to make a good decision for themselves for whatever reason (…for instance they were too drunk, or on drugs or felt scared of you….) then you are committing a 'sexual assault or rape' depending on the precise nature of the sexual act itself. The legal penalty is almost always a long term of imprisonment for the person or people responsible.

A young woman can help increase her personal safety by planning and practising to deal with the worst situations, while still hoping for the best. For instance, consider carrying a rape alarm on you at all times, and not just in your bag. Practise using it in a hurry and using it in the dark. Have you participated on a women's self-defense course in the last six months? Perhaps you could even arrange one at your place of work or study. It should make you feel more confident if you feel as if you have practised some 'emergency drills' for use in a frightening or dangerous situation. It can be best to practice regularly with a friend or group of friends. Perhaps involve a well-trusted guy or two, to help the situation be as realistic as possible for your friends and you.

Bear in mind that sexual assaults and rapes are most often committed by someone the victim is at least acquainted with already, rather than by a complete stranger, and they are very often committed in someone's home. Expect the unexpected, and take adequate precautionary measures as a matter of habit.

When travelling, even commuting to and from your usual place of work or study, try to reduce the possibility of nasty situations ever occurring in the first place, by sensibly planning your journeys. Have a back-up plan along with the phone-numbers and extra money kept in a separate pocket so that you can put plans into action when necessary. If you are out in the street and feel threatened, never feel too embarrassed to knock on a stranger's front door and explain that you think you're being followed, or to ask a trustworthy-looking person if you can walk beside them. Your rule has got to be 'Better safe than sorry'. If in doubt, draw attention to yourself by whatever means necessary - set off your rape alarm, knock on a stranger's door, flag down a passing car, or kick a parked car to set-off its alarm. Acting immediately and unexpectedly can be useful self-defense weapons in such urgent circumstances.