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When it comes to considering sexual relationships, your attitudes and behaviour say a great deal about your values and priorities in life, and about your view of yourself and others.

Only you can decide at what time in your life you want a sexual relationship. No one has to have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and many people live very happily without one.

When you are thinking about having a sexual relationship for the first time, your same age friends may know little more than you do, so it can be a great help to discuss things openly with a few carefully chosen individuals who are older and generally more experienced in life. They will most likely respect you for trusting them and will prove helpful, but keep asking various people until you feel reassured. If you don't feel as if you can talk to your parents about sexual matters, perhaps you could ask a trusted teacher, a counsellor, youth-club leader, religious adviser, someone else's mum or dad or much older brother or sister who you get along well with. If not, there is almost certainly a young person's counselling phoneline that can put you in touch with someone to answer your questions. Ask the operator or look in the Yellow Pages. There are also some really helpful books in the major bookstores written by well qualified doctors and counsellors who specialise in giving straight-forward and understandable advice on the emotional and physical matters in sexual relationships. These books are specifically intended for a young person who wants to learn more, but if you feel shy about choosing and buying one yourself, why not ask someone older to get you a book that deals with sex and other important issues. Don't feel too embarrassed, because that person will have been in the same boat as you when they were your age, so they'll remember just how you feel.

If you have any worries connected to sex, whether it's a pregnancy scare, a genital pain or rash, disturbing sexual desires, or bad memories, do seek professional help and advice by making a call to a local hospital and asking for someone with whom you can discuss these matters: perhaps a 'relationship counsellor', or a member of staff in the STD Clinic (Sexually Transmitted Diseases clinic). Make that call - and confront your worries honestly and clearly, sensitively and sensibly, just as you would want to do with any other part of your life.