|
|
|
|
|
| Being
a good parent |
|
A
good parent has one-to-one time for their children.
|
|
|
If
you want to help your children be fulfilled and lead a happy life,
you have to know how to do that yourself. It's not enough just to
lecture them on what they should be doing, no matter how well you
mean it. You need to be passionate about something yourself, and
lead by example. Learn to play an instrument, or take an evening
class. Demonstrate to them that life is for enjoying but that you
have to work at it.
|
|
|
A
good parent is one who supports their son or daughter, but doesn't
try to live through them.
|
|
|
A
cornerstone of good emotional support is encouraging the young individual
to see the role they are playing in their present situation, and
to encourage them to generate ideas for how they can handle things
positively. Resist the temptation to advise or prescribe because
not only might they not take ownership of the solution, but they
might not learn how to think for themselves in such situations.
What's needed is a safety-net so that when mistakes are made the
individual doesn't fall too far, but don't interfere with people
making those mistakes, because that's how the best learning gets
done.
|
|
|
Money
is the very last thing that teenagers truly appreciate or need.
If you really want to give your child the 'best things money can
buy', help them learn how to earn their own money, and how to invest
what they earn in making the most of their lives.
|
|
|
If
you as a parent are passionate about something, your children will
find something for themselves to take pleasure in.
|
|
|
Parents
should trust schools more and support the teachers. It would be
nice if they could try to spend some informal time with teachers,
like visiting the school on a sports day or maybe offering some
professional help with something. Parents too often seem to visit
schools only in times of crisis or conflict.
|
|
|
Intrinsic
motivation is everything. As a parent, you should encourage your
children to find out for themselves what suits them, what thrills
them, what brings them pride. If you push rather than support them,
at some stage they will be forced to reject you and your 'sales-pitch,'
just to establish their own independence. This might take the form
of school failure, eating disorders, substance-abuse or a wrong
career. Such self-sabotage doesn't reflect what they really want,
only what they feel they need to do to counterbalance the pressure
that you are putting on them. One of the fundamental desires of
any individual is to establish him or herself as a separate entity.
|
|
|
Parents
should be accountable for their views and actions just as much as
the child, so that the child appreciates that everyone - and that
means everyone - is responsible for how they behave, and can be
held to account for that behaviour.
|
|
|
You
mustn't go through your teenager's bin when you're pretending to
tidy their room! You have to respect their independence or they
will have to push you away.
|
|
|
Ask
your children to teach you things from time to time: a hobby, a
sport, how to use a computer or surf the web.
|
|
|
Competent
adults should proactively volunteer themselves as a mentor to young
people. You are needed, but you can't wait for the 14 or 18 or 21
year old to ask for your help. The ones that most need your help
will more than likely be too shy, so you have to offer them your
support, encouragement and a willingness to listen.
|
|
|
Teenagers
can be very good at hiding even serious and long-term anguish and
problems. Don't ignore the eager-to-please teenager who seems to
be muddling through. They still need your encouragement and care.
|
|
If
you found this section interesting, you might like to try these other sections:
· Your values and priorities
· Training, teaching and coaching
· Communicating your emotions
|
| Back
to top |
More
quotes>> |