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Like yourself or change yourself
Overcoming shyness & building confidence
Feeling comfortable with your body
Being independent & in control
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

 

Like yourself or change yourself

Your relationship with yourself is the most important you will ever have.

Would you like to know yourself if you weren't you already?

Treat yourself as you would your very best friend. Be supportive and urge yourself on to better things. Own up to everything you are, no matter how shocking or embarrassing.

You have to feel you're worth investing in. You can't afford to hate yourself. Life is difficult enough as it is, without you cutting off your nose to spite your face. Befriend yourself, that's how you'll succeed.

The more we take responsibility for ourselves, the better off we'll be. Owning up to who we are, what we think, what we do, is 99.9% up to us. We grow strong under the weight of that responsibility and pretty soon we're happier, funnier, and more confident because of it.

There is wonder in being different. Celebrate your difference and inventiveness.

Extraordinary individuals are distinguished less by their impressive "raw powers" than by their ability to identify their strengths and them to exploit them.

A dramatic example of the benefits of strategically playing to your key strengths is the way that during the Vietnam War, the Phantom Jet increased by thirty fold it's success in dogfights by consistently deploying a well-rehearsed strategy that suited its high-power but poor manoeuvrability compared to the enemy MIG jet.

You can learn a lot that is valuable by being the misfit, the odd one out, and it can pay off handsomely later on down the line - generally in the form of leading a much more individual and rewarding life. The point is, life isn't linear and things can change very dramatically, particularly if you work at them.

Judge yourself by how well you play the hand you've been dealt, rather than by comparing yourself to others.

Do something each day that flatly contradicts a negative self-impression of yourself. For instance, if you suspect that you never quite finish a job, choose a twenty minute task and finish it properly. Also, try to catch your negative self-talk every time it crops up, and name three things that are highly positive about yourself.

Never perform for the audience or the critics. Do it for yourself.

Stop trying to second-guess what you think people want you to be or how they want you to behave. Put all your effort into behaving in a way that will get the best from the other person, and make communication easier and more effective. That has absolutely nothing to do with telling them what they want to hear or expect you to say. The best contribution you can make to anyone, no matter whether they are your best friends or your boss, is to contribute to their lives in ways they haven't been able to do for themselves.

Whatever value you place on yourself and your time, not everyone will agree with it, and it's up to them to decide whether they are willing to pay the price you ask to have you in their lives. You cannot make their decision for them.

We want not only to live but to have something worth living for. The great challenge is to create for yourself a meaningful life.

Finding a purpose to your life is crucial… it's a kind of falling in love with something that seems more important than yourself.

Aim to please yourself and to impress yourself. You'll be so much more comfortable around other people when you do.

The happiest individuals are characterised by their 'positive impatience'. If they don't like where they are, or who they are, they change ASAP. They will proactively seek out environments where they can thrive in the ways they want to.

The happiest individuals are characterised by their 'positive impatience'. If they don't like where they are, or who they are, they change ASAP. They will proactively seek out environments where they can thrive in the ways they want to.

Be prepared to dump those bits of yourself that serve no purpose anymore - reinvent and re-launch a newer model. This isn't lying or acting, this is taking the best parts of you and building on them. It's making who you are an active choice rather than an accidental collection of all the baggage you have acquired along the way.

If you're not happy with who you are, you can chose to reinvent yourself, but you have to know how. It will probably mean putting yourself in a totally new environment, most easily done by working or studying overseas or far enough from home.

Search for those around you who have some aspect of their behaviour that you are deeply impressed by. Be prepared to copy it and adapt it to your own style. It is unlikely that every feature of someone else's character will be admirable. Your job is to concentrate on their best qualities and to pluck up the courage to ask them how they manage it.

When you're trying to change yourself or your way of life, there will be set backs and bad days, perhaps even bad months, but how well you cope with these will determine how far you succeed in your ambitions. Important changes do not and cannot happen overnight.

9 times out of 10, it is not other people or the system that is our worst enemy; it is ourselves, ourselves sabotaging the best of our ambitions and hopes - often without realising we're doing it. For instance, not realising that our attitudes or behaviour are unlikely to be helpful in anything but the short term. Don't look to blame others around you for why things aren't going your way, sit down and have words with yourself.

Feeling that you are a part of something, that you make a difference, or may even be indispensable, is very important to your sense of self-esteem - whether that's a football team, or a play or a band or whatever. Discover where you fit in.

Keep reminding yourself of who you are important to and why. Never lose sight of how much of an impact you can make. Team up with your friends and see how much more impact you can have. You'd be amazed. Don't hang around seeing what someone else will do. Be the first mover.

If you enjoyed the above section, you might like to take a look at these:
· Finding your passion
· Your values and priorities
· Developing through new experiences
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