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Individuals who are really going places in life have setbacks, but it's how they handle the setbacks that decide how far and how fast they travel. It isn't the setback which is dangerous, it's their response to it, their attitude to 'what next?'.

The way individuals respond to setbacks, failures or crises tells you more about them than how they are in the easy times.

It takes great strength and dignity to admit you've made a mistake.

You have to learn to cope with whatever comes your way, with wherever you end up. Success is often a matter either of being brave enough to hang on after others have let go, or of being brave enough to let go as early as possible, so that you can go and do something else you'll enjoy much more.

If you don't generate a reasonable number of mistakes, you're probably not trying hard enough or courageously enough.

You will make many big mistakes along the way, behave foolishly and embarrass yourself. Everybody does, we all do. But it's the ability to face up to those mistakes and to put them right as best you can which distinguishes the best people.

When you make a blunder, you've got to turn it to your advantage somehow. By all means spend the morning beating yourself up over it, but then stop at lunchtime and never look back again. Forgive yourself for your errors and get back in the game.

When we're angry, we often withdraw rather than express it. What we should be doing is channeling the anger into solving the problem constructively and positively. That way, the anger can quickly be transformed into a sense of accomplishment.

Faced with a crisis, don't focus on yourself and how you are feeling. Pour as much attention as possible into constructive, positive things you can do to at least stabilise the situation. Then take time out to refresh yourself so that you can make a plan of action, preferably with someone at your side checking that your thinking is reasonable and rational. Choose that person for their calm-in-a-crisis quality. Some friends are of the 'Oh my God!' type, others of the 'How can I Help?' variety.

Give yourself time to think. In a sticky situation, it's too easy to feel as if you have to act here and now. Resist that urge. Take 5 minutes out and think it through, make a call, even give the problem the overnight test, if at all possible. If you think hard about it and get some advice, you'll never regret whatever you go ahead and do. You almost certainly will regret charging in before you've given yourself a chance to bring your best mental artillery to bear.

I keep a mental list of all the times I've triumphed in tricky situations. It serves as a useful morale-booster next time the going gets tough.

It's easy to lose heart at the very last moment when you are most exhausted. In fact, you're probably on the verge of victory, even though you may think you've lost. Bridge that final gap and you can win your struggle. They say 'quitters don't win and winners don't quit'.

Whenever I am feeling bad in the present, I cheer myself up by making clear and positive plans for the future.

Every endeavour will meet with a mixture of failure and success. You just have to make sure the successes outweigh the failures.

In the words of Theodore Roosevelt, "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out where the strong man stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumphs of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly; so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who know neither defeat nor victory."

High-achievers can often be very fragile in the face of failure which is to them a rare or new experience , and so they need to be taught coping mechanisms ahead of time, because they might not develop their own.

Unless you've experienced bitter disappointment, there can be little or no pleasure in being successful.

A difficult upbringing is just as strong a base for a good life as a good one.

Numerous success stories have overcome adversity in the growing-up years: either family financial hardship, emotional upset, long-term poor health, a physical or social stigma, or the early loss of one or both parents. Take heart from their experiences.

It is not stress that determines our psychological and physical health, but rather how we cope with it.

Happiness in life comes down to how you deal with failure. If you can take a fall, pick yourself up and move on, joy will be yours.

Sometimes, when a project goes wrong, it's not a question of trying something less ambitious next time, but of trying something even more ambitious and exciting. Something that will pull even more commitment from you, and even more support from other people. Expand the idea and grow out of trouble rather than shrinking in the face of failure.

Mucking things up can make a huge contribution to your overall performance in the long run, but only if you learn from the error.

Coping with difficulties, like problem-solving, is a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. Use it or lose it.

Don't dwell on the past. Learn from it by examining what you did right and wrong. In the aftermath of success or failure, it's too easy to want to crack on with something else, but you need to make time to absorb every last ounce of learning from the victory or defeat.

Every setback is a learning opportunity with clues to how you might proceed all the better in the future.

Rather than denying or trying to hide your mistakes, study them thoroughly - learn everything you can from them. When you've learned all you can, put them away, forget about them, and push on with your next endeavour.

Help others who have faced the same problems as you. As well as being very satisfying, you'll realise what you've learned from difficult experiences.

You haven't got to suffer to learn great lessons, but you can learn great lessons from suffering.